Why do we drink?
I have been asking that question for decades. If it wasn’t for the alcohol that would be an easier question to answer. I think some drink wine because the taste goes well with food. And good food does not need to be consumed in volume to be just that. Good food.
What alcohol does is… makes us feel better. In a weird way. Ethyl Alcohol to be exact. A chemical that produces the release of dopamine. Dopamine plays a key role in the brain’s reward system, which is responsible for feelings of pleasure and motivation. Excessive consumption of wine, beer, and other mixed drinks will hijack the natural process of dopamine release. Natural processes like exercise, social interaction, sex, learning something new and cause you to depend on alcohol for that sense of fulfillment. Alcohol can become the gatekeeper to allowing you to feel “happy”. Not good.
I recently attended a show in Portland to see The 1975. Great show. I remember watching the singer, Matty, tossing back a flask and I wondered if there really was any alcohol in it. It is a performance after all and fans enjoy his sort of “fuck off” attitude toward authority. I remember him commenting on the drink just before he threw back another chug of what could have been vodka or whiskey. He said something to the effect that drinking is “something I like to do. I enjoy it and well, I think we should do what we enjoy….”
That really struck me. Why? Well, I don’t like destroying myself or others around me. I definitely have a tendency to drink heavily. And I enjoy it. But… not the next day. Or the days after. As I get older, I just can’t handle it anymore. I like beer and wine. I don’t care for mixed drinks. I like sipping on wine or beer over an extended period of time. 8 ~ 12 hour period. On a weekend. When I don’t have to work the next day. And certainly at home where I don’t have to drive. I am good socially. I tend to drink very little socially. Especially if I am out at dinner. Mabey a glass of wine.
I am no longer finding any joy in consuming beer and wine. And the thing is there is no such thing as moderation. I won’t drink one or two. Once I have had two, then three, four, and five are easy. And really, that’s the story with a lot of people who enjoy drinking alcoholic beverages.
Am I an alcoholic? Well, I always say the 1st sign one is an alcoholic is when they deny they are an alcoholic. So, for sure I am an alcoholic.
Today I have decided to cut back. If I want to drink, it will happen on Saturdays only. And today, I am not going to have a drink. Why? Well, I choose not to have a drink today because I want to feel good about myself. I don’t want to depend on a drink for that to happen. So instead I will focus more on exercise, cooking food, setting goals, and getting through those 20 ~ 30-minute intervals at the end of a long day at work or on the weekend when I crave a drink.
I could go to AA. But, I tend to look at the science behind my addiction rather than accepting I am powerless. The more I learn about what is happening when I drink, the less I feel the inspiration to drink. The more I understand how dopamine is a big part of what I am interested in, the more I am inclined to explore the natural triggers. Triggers that for now may be suppressed. But I understand that they can be restored by cutting back or eliminating drinking altogether.
So, I can function day to day without having a drink. It’s just that when the time is right, specifically when I’m at home or I don’t have upcoming obligations or am involved in a demanding project, I tend to fire up the BBQ and have way more than a few. And really, it’s just not all that enjoyable anymore. I’d rather cook sober. Eat sober. And be able to get up early and train the next day rather than nursing a hangover all day only to put in a shitty hour on the mat.
My reasoning for cutting back is intrinsic. I’m not making a big deal about it. I don’t have to. Tomorrow is another day and hopefully, I’ll be able to go to bed sober. So I can feel good about myself and wake up Monday morning feeling better than ever.
I’m carefully optimistic. I don’t want to set myself up for failure. I expect to crave a drink come Wednesday. So, on Wednesday I have a long training session planned with great food to follow and an early night or some time spent learning new skills which almost always keeps the craving down.
So, practice makes perfect. I know my triggers. I’m prepared to deal with them. If I fail, that’s normal. I will simply recognize the failure and recalibrate. The goal is to drink less every week for the next 6 weeks. Eventually, drinking will be eliminated from my life or rather, my relationship with alcohol will be over. For now, it has certainly changed.
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